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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25603618">Slayer Problems</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieRose101/pseuds/EllieRose101'>EllieRose101</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spuffy vs. 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Post-Canon, Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:47:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25603618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieRose101/pseuds/EllieRose101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day for Buffy, another experience to overcome. (Part of my ‘Spuffy vs 2020’ series.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spike/Buffy Summers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Spuffy vs. 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One Shot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I realize the story summary for this piece is pretty vague, but I really don’t want to give away the punchline. It made me cackle to myself and I hope you enjoy it, too. </p><p>Beta-read by Sigyn.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Oh. My. God! </em>Buffy could not believe how much pain she was in. Which was saying something, because boy had she experienced a lot of pain in her life up to now. Nothing like this, though. Nothing at all.</p><p>The midwife sighed as she looked her over and Buffy gaped in response. Every time she put her fingers there, it was pushing them inside a giant bruise. “I’m not dilated enough? <em>Still?</em>”</p><p>“No,” said the midwife, in a tone of voice that seemed to indicate she thought Buffy was to blame. As if she’d <em>chosen</em> to be in labor for hours and hours with little progress.</p><p>“I’m trying!” she told the midwife in a grunt as another contraction crested.</p><p>“You sure are,” said the midwife, patting Buffy’s knee condescendingly.</p><p>Buffy fought every instinct she had to smack her hand away. Because even the knee pat was agony. Every part of her lower half was on fire, not to mention her chest, and the full length of her spine. She figured midwives should know to avoid any unnecessary touches.</p><p>At first, Buffy didn’t know why the midwife – she couldn’t remember her name, so decided in that moment to christen her Karen in her own mind – was being such a bitch, but now she was starting to form an idea. It was slow in coming, because Buffy wasn’t exactly on top of her game, given the circumstances, but the baby was slow in coming, too, so she’d had time to piece things together.</p><p>First, there was the look Karen had given her when she’d seen the <em>Black Lives Matter</em> pin Buffy had been wearing when she was first admitted. Karen hadn’t said anything, but Buffy felt her attitude towards her go vastly downhill at that point. And it just kept finding lower places.</p><p>A big blow had been when Buffy had been told Spike couldn’t join her in the delivery room. They’d been worried about this, given the pandemic, but having called the hospital in advance of their arrival they’d been assured it would be fine so long as Spike could pass the temperature check.</p><p>Spike did not pass the temperature check.</p><p>He didn’t have a <em>high </em>temperature, because he wasn’t sick – they weren’t even sure he could get sick – but the medical staff were weirded out enough by his unusually low temp that they banished him back to the carpark to wait.</p><p>The waiting didn’t seem to end. The pain didn’t seem to end, and Buffy wanted her manpire by her side, damn it. She tried pleading with Karen – of course leaving out the explanation about him being a human/vampire hybrid – but no dice. She understood the need to be careful, so she canned her protests, but that didn’t make her feel any better about it.</p><p>“No need to be upset,” Karen told her. “You know you don’t actually need the man for this part.”</p><p>Again, all Buffy could do was gape in silent exasperation. As if she, of all people, needed a lesson on female empowerment! <em>I really should have gone with Giles’ idea of sending me to a demon hospital. At least then they’d know who I really am. And they’d have let Spike in.</em></p><p>God, she missed him. It was so weird how intense the miss-age was, because she knew logically that he wasn’t that far away, and that she’d see him again soon, but this was important and he was missing it when he shouldn’t be. It was important for them to be together at times like this, why didn’t Karen get that? It was like she didn’t care at all.</p><p>The waiting and pain and aggravation continued until finally Buffy’s cervix started to finally get bigger. And at that point, the pain got even worse.</p><p>“Is it normally this bad?” asked Buffy. “Is something wrong with me?”</p><p>“Yes,” said Karen, though it wasn’t exactly clear which question she was answering. “You know,” she added on the next breath, “you’re not the first ever woman to have a baby.”</p><p><em>No,</em> thought Buffy murderously, <em>not even the first slayer</em> – though she didn’t know if Nikki had already been called or not when she had Robin. But this was definitely the first offspring of a slayer and human/demon hybrid. And hell, even if it wasn’t, you don’t say shit like that to a woman in active labor. <em>God! </em></p><p>“Shall we call your mother?” asked Karen, then, making Buffy wince. The whole pregnancy thing had made her miss her mom in a whole new way and she did so not need the reminder.</p><p>For the first time, Karen displayed a little self-awareness that her words had hurt and was almost nice as she offered Buffy gas and air to help “ease things along.”</p><p>Buffy asked if it was safe, because she’d have to take off her mask to make use of it and Karen waved a hand. “Oh, you know,” she said, “masks aren’t really the big deal everyone makes them out to be.”</p><p>Buffy stared. Was this chick serious? It baffled her that such an irresponsible and misinformed statement could come from a medical professional. Karen was essentially a medical <em>un</em>professional, thought Buffy. She was pleased with the pun, even if she had to keep it to herself, but had ultimately had enough of Karen.</p><p>When she stepped outside the room, presumably to check on someone else, Buffy pressed her buzzer and asked the nurse who arrived if she could “please, <em>please</em>,” switch to a different midwife.</p><p>The nurse leaned in conspiratorially close and whispered, “I don’t blame you. We get a lot of complaints about that one. She wouldn’t even be still working here, but you know….” She shrugged and Buffy figured she meant all the short staffing and general pandemic chaos.</p><p>“We should be able to get you someone else,” said the nurse, “though I will have to put an official reason for transfer of care on the form.” She leaned close again to add, “To be honest, Karen will probably put in her report that you’re being difficult or whatever. It’s funny how she ends up saying that about most of her patients.”</p><p>A little startled laugh escaped Buffy, because what were the chances that Karen was actually Evil Midwife’s real name? She wondered what to put on the form, then laughed even harder as a stroke of genius came to mind.</p><p>The nurse had her pen poised against her little notebook and was looking at Buffy expectantly, her eyebrows raised at her sudden giggle fit.</p><p>“You can–” Buffy had to gasp for breath. “Write down – <em>oh, god</em> – tell Karen it must be the <em>demon sperm</em> making me difficult.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. An Extra Bit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this was a “one shot” and what I’m about to add messes that up a little, and doesn’t really add to what the point of the one shot was doing, but I couldn’t leave it alone. I just couldn’t. You’ll see why. (Yes, I’m a sucker for a happy ending.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy was pretty sure she was hallucinating. Progress had been made, everything had sped up, and her labor was finally nearing an end. She had gotten her new midwife, Jenny, and Jenny was a delight. Especially compared to Karen. She’d gotten Buffy set up with gas and air, reassuring her that, yes, it was safe and she had nothing to worry about (and not for crazy stupid ‘masks are pointless’ reasons).</p><p>Anyway, it was all good. Buffy was now more than happy with how everything was going, except for the continued Spike-missage.</p><p>She was working through her breathing exercises, wishing he would just walk in the door, when someone did enter. Someone in scrubs and a hair net and a mask and gloves, who basically had every inch of themselves covered except for the eyes.</p><p>The blue, unmistakable eyes.</p><p>Buffy blinked at him, wondering if he was real, and he winked, telling her that, yes, he really was. <em>Oh, thank god!</em> She didn’t care how he’d done it – how many people he’d sneaked past or what kinds of subterfuge he had to engage in – because it didn’t matter.</p><p>Spike was there. He’d made it.</p><p>The relief that flooded through Buffy, just being surrounded with so much love, seemed to make all the difference. It was like her body relaxed, and the rest – well, it wasn’t easy, exactly. It still hurt like hell. – but it was okay.</p><p>It was more than okay.</p><p>Baby Boy Summers came into the world, both Buffy and Spike got to hold him and be there for each other, and for whatever else was going wrong in the trash fire year of 2020, they knew they were really bloody lucky.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This fic is not meant as a diss on medical staff. They work extremely hard and most of them are super lovely. I just couldn’t resist responding to the ‘demon sperm’ headlines in the news, and this was where my muse took me. If right now you have no idea what these headlines are and think I sound crazy, Google it, but with this caveat: the news stories are a lot less fun than this fic and I apologize for sending you to them if they bum you out. If that is the case, you could come back here and re-read this, which I hope will make you feel better again. At any rate, please leave a comment :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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